Crossroad

Last week I talked about loosing my father and how that affected me and made me even more committed to my weight loss journey.  What I didn't mention is that there was another very different direction that I could have taken.

You see I am an emotional eater.  Specifically I eat when I'm feeling down or depressed or when I'm feeling overly stressed.  Obviously loosing dad made me feel this way.  Loosing someone close to you brings a tremendous amount of pain.  Add to that the stress of making arrangements and dealing with family and friends that are "just trying to help" but always seem to be stressing you out more instead and you've got a disaster brewing.

I had a decision to make.  I could throw out the six weeks of progress I had made or I could continue with the program.  It helped having a meeting the day after dad died.  Since it was at work and I needed to go and hand off some work before going on bereavement I decided to weigh in and then go up to my cubical and get my things in order.  It was so good I did.  That was the day I got my star for 5% lost.  I would have normally been excited, but to tell the truth I really wasn't feeling much of anything that day.

I decided to track the rest of that day.  I think it was partly because It gave me something to focus on and control.  I knew though that I couldn't keep it up.  People always bring food to you when you loose someone.  And the food they bring is usually "comfort food" which is not really comfortable for someone trying to watch what they're eating.  The temptation is overwhelming and your emotions and habits are telling you to eat.

I knew I'd snap if I tried to stay on plan and deal with everything else I was dealing with.  I decided I had to let go and take care of myself emotionally.  There are only two days that I've never tracked or tried to track for since I've been on Weight Watchers.  Those are the Friday after dad died and the Saturday of the funeral.

I still tried to make some healthier choices, but I did have a piece or two of chocolate cake and a fried fish sandwich.  I know I went way over my POINTS budget those two days.

I had to force myself to go back on the program on Sunday.  I really didn't want to, but I had told myself when I made the decision not to track that it was only through Saturday.  I had to get back to it.

That next week I wrote my "manifesto" stating my commitment to loose weight and live past my newly established expiration date.  I have it posted on my personal blog, my Facebook page, and in my cubical at work.  It reminds my of the commitment I made to myself and to the memory of my father.

I've been thinking about that time a lot lately.  It was almost a year ago.  I think how different my life would be now if I'd made the decision to go the other way.  To stop loosing weight and go on living the way I was.  I don't think I'd be as happy with myself as I am today, and I know I wouldn't be part of this contest.  I also think about the people who have told me I inspired them.  If I hadn't make the decision I'd made then who would have done that?

It's amazing the impact the decisions you make can have.  The next time you find yourself at a crossroads stop and think about how that decision will impact not only you, but those around you.  Will you be able to live with the decision knowing how it could affect others?  It's true that sometimes we can't see the ripples of our decisions, but I think if you try to consider their impact on others there's a better chance you'll make the right decision.

Tomorrow I'm going to talk a bit more about emotional eating.  This weekend has been a little emotional for me, and in a couple weeks when the anniversary of dad's death rolls around I'm going to be feeling a lot of this all over again.

On the menu today:  (nutritional information) [POINTS Plus value]


Breakfast:
1 1/2 Cup Multi-Grain Cheerios [4]

Lunch:
4 slices Sara Lee Delightful 45 cal 100% multi-grain bread [5]
12 slices of thinly sliced deli sliced ham [4]
2 slices Far Free American Cheese [1]
2 Tbsp Relish [1]
2 Tbsp Dijon Mustard [0]
2 Tbsp Horseradish Mustard [0]
10 baby carrots [0]
1 Cup Radishes [0]
1 Mott's No Sugar Added Healthy Harvest Granny Smith applesauce [1]
1 Jell-O Sugar Free Chocolate [2]

Dinner:
Genghis Grill Bowl - Spicy Shrimp and Scallop Bowl (based on the Firecracker Bowl)
Shrimp, Scallops, Dragon Salt, Classic Stir Fry Mix (Carrots, Green Beans, Onions), Green Onions, Water Chestnuts, Dragon Sauce, Brown Rice (480.5 cal / 2 fat / 55 carb / 7 fiber / 33.6 prot) [9]

Snacks:
1 large banana [0]
2 Cups Silk Pure Almond Dark Chocolate Almondmilk [7]
1/4 Cup Planters Nut-rition Antioxidant Mix [5]
1/4 Cup Planters Nut-rition Omega-3 Mix [4]


Exercise:
1.25 miles walking during breaks.


#gghealthkwest